Summer Heat envelopes us, Heavy air stifles breathing, Slower pace, less fuss. Dusk Loving the evening Rejuvenation takes place The spirit renewed. Weather Grayness once again, Rain purges blanketing heat, Feeding waiting earth. Dancing Moving to the beat, Spirit lifting with each step, Heart soars with delight. Now Loving this new life, Feeling decadently free, Grateful to be me. Writing Sharing hopes and dreams, Illumination of thought, Indulgent display. |
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Okay, is that by horse drawn carriage? Bus? Well no, it’s because of having a flat tire near the swinging metropolis of Bastrop, Texas. This is on a Sunday afternoon, about seven years ago, in the middle of July, on the way to a three-day conference. The normal drive time is three lovely hours through some of the most attractive hill country in the state. Yep, attractive, until, as you are nearing a low spot on the hilly terrain, you hear a noise in your right wheel well – tick, tick, tick as it matches the rotation of your wheels. What, just what is that!!!???? You start to pull to the shoulder, then see a rest stop on the left – lucky you – pull in. There is nothing that you can see sticking out of the tire, you continue to investigate; you get down on your knees and look under the car at the inside of the tire, still nothing. But, as you are investigating, you do hear a definite HISSSSSS coming from a tire. Call AAA – oops, they loose your connection since you are down in a valley. Well, you just have to get out of that spot. You risk it, and drive up the hill – oh wow, a gas station! You think you’ll get some air for that tire and maybe get further down the road to a better place. Nope, the air hose tip on the air pump is cut off. Okay, instead of staying in such a questionable truck-like stop, you do manage to pull next door and stop in front of a nice looking motel, park, get out and watch the tire deflate. Call AAA again, this time they don’t loose you – get your info. You wait for the truck; call a tire repair place, perhaps they can help – no, they don’t have anyone to send. You wait for the truck. Okay, so maybe you should change the tire, but no, you’d never be able to loosen those durn lug-nuts! You wait for the truck. (Okay, at least you are waiting inside in A/C and the patient clerk doesn’t mind you being there.)
Finally, the truck comes (after two hours!) There were some really major accident emergencies that needed attention. Okay, you understand that. The AAA person puts on the spare doughnut. Now, though, you have 30 minutes to get to Wal-Mart (the only place open on a Sunday afternoon) to see if the tire can be repaired. When you get there, you find it cannot be repaired because a chunk of rubber is cut out of the inside wall. Do they have a tire? Don’t know, they say, they’ll see. Yes, they’re supposed to have three that fit your car, but they can’t find them! However, a dedicated, helpful Wal-Mart employee did find the tires, and one was put on the car. Yay!! So, off you go, new tire (doesn’t match the other three which weren’t that old to begin with) minus $150 and 150 lbs. (due to all the sweating). Austin looks good as it looms in the distance 30 minutes later and 6 ½ hours from the start of the trip. But, drat, you missed your Sunday meeting! (I was going to an annual planning conference that occurs every year in July - I dedicate this little essay to all who will be attending - you folks are great!) When you least expect it, angels appear. I believe they are always around, but certainly not always seen. However, my recent angel was in the flesh of a charming stranger. Although my prayers are most often answered in subtle ways, this time it wasn’t the normal subtle and I would have had to have been blind to not have recognized the message. Daily I ask to be lifted in spirit – daily it happens, but not usually in such an obvious way. Before I describe this lovely experience, let me explain that lately I’ve been over contemplating the changes occurring in my life – all of them: financial, mental, emotional, and physical; I’m trying to decide what direction I need to take. If one gets older, all of these changes and many major decisions will be made. I know, this is normal. But, along with this contemplation, I’ve been reminiscing, so I sometimes get a bit sentimental. I can put myself in a slump with all of these thoughts. And, the mirror doesn’t play a positive part either. Reflections are not as pleasing as I had hoped older age would project. True, maybe I’m a bit too over conscientious about my appearance – I don’t leave the house without a little make-up on and a little bit of jewelry. I digress. I just wanted to say that sometimes one can simply think too much, the little “grey cells” get overworked, and one can spiral into being a bit morose. Anyway, my brain has been over active with all of this “stuff” floating through it, so it was a beautiful surprise to meet my “angel”.
Friday was an errand day – grocery shopping in two different stores. I just entered my second store, had parked my cart and was looking at the produce. From the other side of a vegetable display, a voice said: “I just love your hair, it looks so nice.” A bit surprised, I looked over to see a lovely slender woman I had never seen before and said (of course): “Thank you, thank you very much.” I wanted to add that I loved her hair also – her soft chestnut brown hair was cut in a charming pixie style. Instead, I remembered it was better not to “gush” over a compliment and just simply say thanks. But, I was so flattered, since I had recently gotten my hair cut (something I had postponed way too long); I wanted to say something else to her. So, after I had picked out some potatoes, I walked over to her noticing she had a protection boot (I’m not sure what they are called) on her right foot. I just said: “Goodness what did you do to your foot?” And, that began a conversation – I found that she had been diagnosed with the same debilitating disease a person very close to me has. Her diagnosis came at age 50; the other person’s diagnosis came in her 20’s. Nevertheless we shared some information and I learned something new about the disease. It was enlightening. During part of this conversation, she paid another compliment to me, said that I was a “beautiful woman”….it has been a long time since I’ve heard anything like that, and the words seemed to have much more impact since they were from a stranger. Funny how some simple words simply make a person feel wonderful. I hope that our conversation also lifted her spirits as much as they lifted mine. I’m not sure how often one realizes that “angels” can be in the flesh of “ordinary” folks, but truly angels are always around us – every day. Anyone can be an angel, in large ways and in small ways, such as I’ve described. Pleasant words, kind gestures, consideration, politeness, providing positive reinforcement, are examples of simple things that can possibly be all that it takes to brighten someone’s day. And this, perhaps only brief, release may be all that is needed to bring one closer to the healing effect of God’s peace. Angels are all around us, let them in; be one. When my daughter's father and I divorced, I had a spectacular job. It was less than a thirty hour a week position and I received a very nice salary at that time, so I felt quite comfortable and able to handle the job of a single parent household. I could pretty much set my work hours as long as I performed my duties, management was very tolerant - I was able to arrive at work after I took my daughter to school as well as pick her up when school was over. I had time to be a room mom and do other volunteer work at the school, and well, just be there. Mind you, her dad, though not under the same roof, was definitely a contributive father. He fortunately lived near, which was comforting since we had no other family around. With these work hours, I was also able to adequately take care of the house. However, four years after the divorce, my wonderful job ceased. My company was down sizing, so before I was asked to leave, I sought another position. I was lucky to find one in a short period of time and in good proximity - the catch, less pay, more hours. However, it was "food on the table" and in my profession, so I accepted. But, not without guilt. Even though we lived a block from her school at the time I took the new job, this is what I felt:
PULLED AND TWISTED With this job, I can't seem to do Things that a mom needs to - It takes too much out of me. I have nothing left, you see, I'm all decisioned out. Too much needing repair, A phone, a floor, a door, a chair, A car, a piano and roller blades. Not to mention screens and shades. Repairman phone tag, no time. Stretched to the limit, Trying to make the pieces fit House, yard, laundry, meals, Juggling lessons, it often feels As if opportunities become the problems. It seems the decisions I make With hopes they will take Us on a better road, Instead bring a heavier load, And the child is ignored. Working so hard to survive, More than that, thrive. Nothing more important Than the job! But, My child is at home, Alone, Watching TV. Poem written August 5, 1997 |
AuthorWelcome! Ginny Harrell's various thoughts and experiences, and an attempt at re-invention through words. Please also refer to the "About" page. Archives
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